Leadership Lens

Amazing Gift Ideas

2009-01-04T12:05:00.000-08:00

The Neiman Marcus Christmas Book is an icon of luxury gift giving. This year the book includes a limited-edition BMW sedan for $160,000, turf from a Texas Stadium end zone – a mere $500,000, a three hole backyard golf course designed by Jack Nicklaus for $1 million and a stable of 12 to 15 Thoroughbreds for just $10 million.

For those of us who are actually on a budget this holiday season, I want to encourage you to think differently about your gift giving. At the heart of a gift is the idea of letting someone know how much they mean to us and how much we appreciate them. The heart of it is much bigger than credit card debt, consumer-driven marketing strategies and giving a bunch of stuff that will be discarded someday for the landfill.

I started to think about all the gifts I have been given or given to others over the years. In thirty years of my life, I can seriously remember only a handful of gifts. In contrast, I have far more treasured memories of the experience of Christmas and of giving to others.

I remember my Norwegian grandmother teaching me how to make Krum kaka and lefsa. The smells and warmth from her kitchen are still with me today. Decorating the house with my mother and sister, is still one of my favorite things because we are together. Christmas music playing in the background with the smells of cinnamon and pumpkin spices. Perhaps some of my best memories were conversations around a fireplace and feeling warm. At the heart of these memories is something far greater than money can buy.

One of my favorite books is Gary Chapmans Five Love Languages (http://www.fivelovelanguages.com). In this book Chapman uses real-life examples from over thirty years of marriage counseling to illustrate the five distinct languages people use to express love. I would like to encourage you to think about how you like to express love, care and appreciation into your gift giving this Christmas.

Giving the gift of Words of Affirmation – If you have a friend, spouse or child that thrives on words, try some creative ways to convey what they mean to you. Think about creating a treasure map with special notes that helps them discover what you love about them. You could also try sending a special card or e-card for each of the 12 days of Christmas. In this hectic paced life a hand written card can say volumes to people who feel loved and appreciated through the gift of words. Another way to do this is during the Christmas meal, have every member at the table share a special word of affirmation about the people who are sitting at your table. Young and old alike, this can be a very powerful gift to receive public affirmation and appreciation.

Giving the Gift of Quality Time – Statistics tells us that parents average less than an hour with their children per day. For Christmas, wrap up a box full of special books for your kids from the library that you plan to read to them every night for the next two weeks. Another idea is to collect your favorite holiday films and have a special movie night with blankets, pillows, special pajama’s, homemade popcorn or even homemade caramel popcorn balls and spend the time close to each other. Make your time together count and pack it with meaningful, quality moments that you can remember.

Giving the gift – For those people who love to receive gifts or a symbol of love, its all about the presentation and thoughtfulness of the gift. Maybe you want to surprise your spouse with a special DVD from your wedding, wrap it up and write a special note of how you want to remember the best decision you ever made. For children, wrap up all the ingredients to make a fun Christmas baking treat and have them learn to make it with you. Years ago when I was a poor graduate student, I wanted to give a special gift to all my girlfriends. I decided to make Russian Tea mix and packaged in really cute in bags I found in a gift store. I was able to give 40 friends a special handmade gift with a card filled with a memory of our friendship for less than $20. When I was just starting my career, everyone in my office was buying gifts for each other. Again I was budget conscious and went to a nice department store and bought two truffles for everyone in my office. The candy counter had little white boxes behind the counter that I asked for that held two truffles each. I wrapped them with extra attention to details, wrote a special note about each person and how I wanted them to know how unique and special they were – just like a chocolate truffle.

Giving the gift of Service – Depending on the person, sometimes helping them with a project is the greatest gift of all. If you know how to finish a household project that has been lingering for too long – its time to do it. Maybe it is getting your kids to clean up the house and making a special pizza for mom while she’s gone getting groceries. Perhaps you could help finish a project that has a colleague overwhelmed at work or taking a shift for them when they really need it. I think that for many parents today, the greatest gift is someone who will provide great care for their children and allow them to have a date night. So if you can give free babysitting support – create a booklet as your Christmas present that gives your friends the “okay” to ask you.

Giving the gift of Physical Touch – Touch is important. Everyone needs it, but it needs to be appropriate, loving and within the right context. My daughters love it when I do their hair “special” or I cuddle with them. When I am at home with my parents and siblings for the holidays, we all give each neck and shoulder rubs while we sit around the fireplace. One year for Christmas, I gave my husband a spa pedicure at home. He had never had one and thought it was awesome. Remember that it is okay to hug your friends and family – especially during the holidays. Years ago, when I was working with teenagers, I would have lines of young kids hug me goodbye at the end of our weekly youth meetings. Many kids told me it was the only hug they got all week. When a teenager wants a hug – give them one.

Remember that you can truly give meaningful and loving gifts without spending a cent. Attention to details, building memories, sharing laughter, meeting the needs of your family and friends, and spending time together being blessed is truly a gift worth giving.

In times of uncertainty, economic hardships, crazy schedules and stress, it is so valuable to remind yourself to focus on what is truly important and build into your life the moments that are worth remembering for a lifetime. Perhaps the best gifts, are the simple ones and by adjusting our expectations and practices of giving, we too, can be in the place just right.

"Simple Gifts" was written by Elder Joseph while he was at the Shaker community in Alfred, Maine in 1848. These are the lyrics to his one-verse song:

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain'd,
To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come round right.

Potato Economics

2009-01-04T12:00:00.000-08:00

Recently my 97 year old grandmother told me a story that changed the way I saw her famous whipped potatoes that she has made for me since I was a little girl. Her whipped potatoes are my favorite food. Little did I know that my favorite food had such a long history.

My grandmother was born in 1910. At the age of 27, she met my grandfather who was a farmer. At the time she was a teacher in a one-room schoolhouse and my great-grandfather thought it would be a good idea if this cute teacher would marry his son. It was a practical arrangement that grew into friendship and eventually a love that lasted 63 years.

The years leading up to and during the depression were very difficult for many farmers in Minnesota. My grandfather worked hard and saved enough to purchase his own farmland but the land, buildings and house needed a lot of work. My grandma had an older sister who married a man named Ralph Duncun. One fall while harvesting corn, Ralph’s hand was amputated in the corn picker. So my grandpa Ron headed over to Ralph’s farm to help finish the harvest. In return, Ralph sold two of his prized Guernsey cows to my grandpa for $50 and $52 each – about ¼ of the market value for such great cows. Those milk cows were the beginning of a herd for my grandpa and grandma.

Finally my grandpa had two animals that could produce milk, cream, cheese and butter. But even with this blessing, there was very little food available since the land was not producing crops. Every cent that was earned was put into seeds for the fields. The goal was simply to make it to spring so they could plant those fields.

One day Ralph came up the driveway with a cart full of potatoes. It was worth six dollars. My grandma and grandpa did not have six dollars. Ralph knew that my grandma and grandpa didn’t have the money but he gave them the potatoes anyways. He had more than enough he told them.

My grandma made potatoes dozens of ways that winter. Everyday she pealed potatoes and made them scalloped, whipped, baked or in soup. That six dollar cart of potatoes kept them alive during one of the harshest winters, during the most desperate of economic times.

In the spring my grandma planted the roots from the potatoes and created a garden to replenish the potato supply.

As a little girl, I remember telling my grandma that I “hated” to peel potatoes. She told me that that she had peeled so many potatoes in her life she would be able to do it in her sleep. As I watched her peel the potatoes she told me that she was blessed to have those potatoes to peel. I didn’t understand what she was trying to tell me. All I knew is that my grandma made some of the best whipped potatoes in the world for me because they were my favorite.
Nearly twenty years later, those whipped potatoes have taken on a different meaning. You see, the gift of the cows and the gift of the cart of potatoes was a sacrificial gift on the part of Ralph to my grandparents. He could have chosen to make a profit at the expense of his relatives. But he did the right thing and because of his generosity my grandparents were given the chance to not just survive the hard times but to thrive in the midst of the hardship.

With the world full of so many needs sometimes it is a little daunting to do the right thing. Sometimes sacrificing for others seems counter-intuitive. Yet our gut tells us that it is the right thing to do. I may never understand the full impact of the gifts that were given by Ralph to my grandparents, but I do know that his generosity impacted future generations and laid the financial seeds for my families success.

Today consider who you could give a “cart of potatoes”. You too, may never know the impact of the decision, but it very well may change the world.

Just Begin

2009-01-04T11:50:00.000-08:00

Oh where do I begin?

With the advent of the New Year upon us, many of us are setting new business and personal goals. There is a certain amount of optimism and excitement about saying one hopes for change, but the reality is that results happen when actions back up the goals. We have all heard the cliché’ that “actions speak louder than words.”

For many people, ideas are not the problem. Lots of people have good ideas. The area that separates those who achieve the goal is in the area of execution. I believe that success is not just marked by how good the idea is, how perfect the strategic plan or how talented the individual. The greatest success metric is given to those to who will simply start.

Movement is defined as “the act or process of moving ; especially : change of place or position or posture”. The desire to reach a goal is only as good as our determination and discipline to begin the process. It is not until a step is started that momentum can begin.

Change is a process. Very few goals are accomplished without work or effort and that requires self initiative and self leadership.

I have worked with many young people between 18-38 and have had a few observations about the transitions that occur during this phase of development. I think that many people get overwhelmed by how much effort is required to attain a goal. For example, the application process to college can stall the brightest of students. The temporary discomfort sidelines the start and the goal does not get accomplished. For others, the definition of course outlines, course syllabi and the overall academic process is overwhelming. For those who actually make it to the end of their college program, often the pursuit of the first job lands them in a place where they are simply trying to make enough money to cover expenses but feel very far away from the goal they wanted to accomplish with meaningful and significant work. When people don’t know where to start, they often get stuck. Then the rationalizations start that keep us right where we are.

So if you are determined to change something or accomplish a new goal, here are three simple suggestions to help you get started:

Create a picture of what you want to accomplish. The benefits of the change need to be the focus, not the amount of work required to get there. For example, if you are trying to increase your territory for your sales team, focus on the great customer relationship you will have in a series of increments that are measurable. If your focus is only on the end result, staying motivated is much harder. You need to enjoy each day and the process of gaining relational trust with your customer base.
Shift your focus to your new priorities. Mistakenly, we often think that in order to achieve a goal – all our focus needs to be on one project. I think that this works in the short term, but life has a way of happening that makes a singular focus hard to maintain. The answer often can be found by conscientiously shifting your focus when it demands attention. For example, you may need to temporarily change the amount of management meetings that you attend if you are trying to carve time to go visit new clients. You cannot forget about being a part of the company, but can for a season prioritize your time to what needs your most immediate attention. If the information you need to be a good manager can be collected in a summary from a designated person, it may be worth the missed meetings to get started on the new goal. A real world example is when people re-prioritize exercise in their lives. When the goal of 30 minutes a day is the focus, you can start to carve time out to begin the task of fitness. The temporary requirement may mean that you don’t go out for lunch but instead hit the gym or go for a walk.
Resolve each day to begin new, to make progress through the process of change and not get stuck by desiring perfection in today. The picture of climbing a mountain is only accomplished one step at a time. The same is true of major goals. When a series of small things are done over time, big things are accomplished. But if you are trying to lose 30 pounds, you may need some patience to accomplish the task.

Successful people know that if you want to see a result, you have to start. The desire to be perfect, at 100 percent, completely confident, completely prepared are all fine desires if they don’t prevent you from starting. Change is a process, accomplished through consistent execution. If you want to finish well, I encourage you to shift your focus and take the first step today. The rewards are an amazing gift.